My Problem With Crush #2

In regards to Esmeralda, I've deleted her phone number from my phone, deleted her from my PDA, and I've blacklisted her email from my email account. I just had enough of this after Friday night.

Ever since the incident at Carribean Gardens with Sandra, things were never the same with Esmeralda and I. Trust issues I would imagine, she received three different accounts of what happened that night: Sandra's, Jose's, and mine. It's no wonder why she wants to walk away also.

I've done my best to continue showing my interest in her, we spoke twice on the phone after that Wednesday and exchanged a few emails since then. My emails consisted of me asking her what she had lined up for the weekend, if she had time then to hang out, etc.

There was never any follow-up to any of those hints. No "okay, I'll see" just no responses. Learning from my failed relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I quickly rememeberd that when a woman says nothing, it still counts as saying something.

In either case I spoke to her through email on Friday afternoon, asking her what she had lined up for the weekend. It's her best friend's birthday weekend so she'll be spending time with her. As for tonight, she's going to the SJ Improv.

Everything in my gut told me that she would be going dancing afterwards. The show goes from 8:30 - about 10 or so, too early for someone to head straight hom. I figured that she'd show up at Miami's with her best friend, that didn't happen exactly.

In a wild fluke, I was standing by the entrance to Miami Beach after some hardcore dancing. With two quick glances I see Esmeralda's at the entrance, but with a guy! I smiled and mouthed a Hello to her, to which she did the same. Now you'd think she'd at least come by and say hello, no, she walked in the opposite direction towards the back of the club.

Now I could've approached her later in the night but the thing is I didn't know if this was a friend or a date, so I kind of left it as it is. Not much was going through my mind other than I don't have the full story to make a conclusion; however my statement to myself was that I *knew* she was going to show up.

After she disappeared I found the girl I was dancing cumbia and Merengue with earlier and asked her to salsa dance with me, on the stage. The silly part about the dancing scene is that (which is so stupid) is that if you really like a girl you're supposed to ignore her and dance with someone else to incite jealously.

I know, it's so childish and stupid but it's true. My opinion is if you really like someone then you show them you like them. Unfortunately, for a lot of people if you do that too early on you come off as a psycho...which is why it annoys me that guys that treat women bad get the girls and nice guys have trouble.

So after we danced I realize that the girl is attracted to me, noticing that she held my hand from the stage all the way to her table. As most girls have done, I was complimented consistently on my dancing skills.

I've yet to see Esmeralda in fact, I had no idea where she was at. Maybe outside? Okay let's incite some jealously. I ask the girl to go dance with me outside. She said yes, holds my hand and leads me to the back of the club as I follow her.

Hm, no Esmeralda. No matter, so we dance and dance and we're done and she takes my hand and walks me back to her table.

So I leave her and walk around trying to find out where my friends were and wondering where Esmeralda was at. At some point I finally spot her with the corner of my eye at the second bar towards the dark corner of the bar with 3 other people, looking at my direction. I play it off that I haven't spotted her yet.

She had a perfect vantage point to see who leaves or enters the back area. "Did she see the girl holding my hand and leading me to the back to dance earlier?" I wondered.

I meet up with Jose and tell him that Esmeralda's here with a guy. "Where?" he asks. So he makes his way over there while I stay at the back dance area.

Recounting on what Jose said, he stood nearby her, she got his attention by his arm, he asked if she had talked to me, she said yes, he says "And?", and she says "let's dance." At that point they're both dancing in the back area where I'm at. At some point of walking around I acknowledge her existence by pinching her arm as she's dancing with Jose. "Okay see, I'm not ignoring you" I hoped that it would establish.

Well apparently they don't talk a whole lot although Jose tells me that the guy was trying to put his arms around her and all and that....he has a girlfriend. "Do you know that Mauricio has a girlfriend?" Jose tells her. With a surprised look, she tells him no. Ah hah!

Well so they're still dancing so I find the girl I was dancing with and ask her (and i'm so rude, she was talkng to some guy and I motioned her to come with me. Which she did) to come out and dance with me in the back. SO we do, and while we're dancing there was a few times where Esmeralda looked at me, that I noticed. There was one moment where we both looked at each other while dancing.

It wasn't a good moment, she had a distraught look on her face. Was she upset that Mauricio has a girlfriend, that I was dancing with another girl? Or what?

What crossed my mind was.....she knows that Miami Beach is my regular hangout and the odds of seeing me there are very high....so why didn't she call me to see if I was already there or if we can meet up? It was obvious to me that she still had trust issues with me and probably figured she would catch me with another girl.....or that she's lost interest me and didn't care anymore.

After that look and a few 10ths of seconds later, Esmeralda stops dancing with Jose and flies off back to her group. "What was all that about?" Jose's facial expression showed as I continued to dance with my partner. It was very abrupt I had observed.

So for the rest of the night I avoided looking at their location although I had caught her a couple of times looking at me...as I was sitting at the other end of the same bar......talking to the security at the door by the back room...or when I was walking from one area to another.

I was a bit hurt yes, i've been leading her to try to do something with her with no responses thinking that she was still interested, and to see her show up in the club I frequent without a hello when she sees me also hurt. As a person that tries to work out problems through communication I had to protect myself from any more hurt by cutting her off.

Not all is lost, if she were to call me then of course we can go from there. As for emails, it's set up in a way where emails from her get the automatic response that I will not be answering any emails and that if it's urgent then to call me at the following numbers.

Frankly after this and the incident with Jules I'm pretty much tired of women for the moment.