Lust, Love, Infidelity, & Everything in Between

Self Reflection: Lust, Love, Infidelity, & Everything in Between.

My life...has been an enjoyable yet there's a lot I haven't done and a lot I will never do. One of those things is love-less sex.

I did the so called "fling" that some of us look for each night when we go out stalking prey once, only once, and I'll never do it again.

I felt used, empty, lost in what I should be feeling, and uncomfortable that night...which ultimately shaped the way I am today.

I don't do flings and I'll never do it again..ever...however like any other human being with desires I lust for what many call "a night of passion."

I am fortunate though. I have a good friend, his name is Jose, without him I think that I would have succumbed to the lust and picked up a stranger to bring back to my place...only to wake up the next morning regretting what I did.

He speaks highly of me and in the short amount of time we've known each other he considers me a good friend. In fact, I'm his only good friend that's male. It is *because* he sees me as this high moral person that I am less inclined to break that image.

I do not see it as something bad but rather something that motivates me to stay on this path I have drawn. In a way, Jose also stays on this path because he has someone to walk it with.

I have learned by observing and hearing of his actions towards his girlfriend that Jose and I are not too different when it comes to how we treat the women we love, or care for.

One of our best attributes is the skill of understanding. I remember making a very clear statement to a listener about how people today are too quick to give up relationships and that many feel that they are too busy to take the time to understand one another....everyone's an individual....and although we typically search for similarities in another person of the opposite (or sometimes same) sex, we are still individuals and should be treated as so.

I feel strongly that people should take the time to understand one another...whether it's a friend or someone you care about because:

People make decisions based upon their past experiences.

I recently observed a woman, obviously married with a ring on her finger with a child from her husband, attempt infidelity. This woman courted a man not her husband with words of attraction, get togethers, phone calls, and text messages.

Is this her first attempt at infidelity, or has she done this before? After some digging I realize that this is her first attempt....the result of her fustrations that her husband does not want to sleep in the same bed as her...nor wishes to make love to her.

She is attractive, with many men trying to court her, ring or not...yet she has always turned them all down until she saw another man that she was obviously attracted to. Who's at fault, the husband or her?

Perhaps it's the husband...as any man that does not want to have sex with their attractive wife could only mean that he's putting his hot dogs in somone else's oven.

Perhaps it's her...why attempt to sleep with another man if you still have your phat wedding ring on? At least have the decency to take it off if you want to cheat.

There's a lot of details to this, but my take is, if you have plumbing problems at home with your husband then talk to him....not look for a different plumber to clean your pipes. All it takes is a little communication and understanding.

She's shown interest in me also however I've never given her the impression that I was interested in her. She's rubbed against me, dance seductively in front of me, but I've never responded back. She asked me once why I wasn't turned on from the dancing. ">shrug< It's just dancing."

I'm fortunate that I have a social skill called salsa dancing, for without I wouldn't be meeting women constantly. Unfortunately, the way I am attracted to a woman is based on what she says and how she conveys it to me. So what's going to motivate me to talk to a stranger if there's nothing for me to pull me towards her?

Not much...it's pretty much a flip of the coin if I end up talking to a stranger...sometimes they're boring and sometimes they're interesting. There's so many women to talk to though that you have to wonder how do you have the time to get to know every single person you meet?

So that's where I'm stuck. You meet all these people, you talk to all these people, *and* you have all these things to do with these people. How do you weed out the ones you really like?

You can't...so you end up being friends with them...in the hopes that you'll have the flexibility to get to know them in a time frame that's manageable.

So now you're stuck with a bunch of friends. It's not so bad, except you can't sleep with any of them....or love them yet...so now you're stuck in that space between being just friends...and becoming lovers....in between.

(My first crush, is one of those friends. Crush-1 isn't number one because she's the hottest...no, she's number one because all the other crushes were weeded out long ago....so she's moved up the ranks....except that no one has topped her yet....a shame really....as this crush has been sitting at number one for around a year now. The result of uncontrollable circumstances.)