Your Super-Power

We all know of a super hero.... spider-man... incredible hulk.... they all have some sort of superpower. They were given this gift... and in their life journey they had to struggle to control it.

We all have a super power. Think of your best attribute, something that you feel defines who YOU are... a personality trait that defines you.

I cannot speak for you, but I can speak for myself and use myself as an example. My best attribute is my perserverence.

I can start on a task, be it a sport or dancing or web design.... I never give up until I am satisfied that I have accomplished my goal.

In my day-to-day acts I never give up, and I would stick to it longer than most. Some would give up due to frustration... for me frustration is just part of the process.

I don't know where this attribute started.... it could be because I studied in biology and research..... in research you're taught to never give up and to search for an answer.

Or maybe it was before that? Maybe it was bred into me by my parents. Whatever it may be, perserverence is something that has been in me for a long time. That, is my super-power. My super-power is an extension of myself. I perservere, and it is used in my day-to-day acts.

My super-power also extends into relationships. I have a habit of sticking out in relationships at a point in time when others would have given up. I will work out a relationship and not call it quits unless I feel that it is absolutely necessary.

However, like Cyclops or Rogue or Iceman or any of the other superheroes.... you start with a gift that... unless you learn how to control..... it will get the best of you.

Sometimes, my super-power blinds me. I will pursue a woman... for whatever reason.... and totally forget about all the hints that tell me a relationship with this person will not work.

I met a woman that was an object of desire for many men. I pursued this person... and was successful. Unfortunately she was a complete mismatch to me.

Or, I will work at a relationship that is for obvious reasons failing... but will work at it because I think with a little effort it'll be okay.

My perserverence blinded me.... as my core attribute... my greatest attribute... took a hold of me.

It is my greatest attribute, but yet also something that has given me failure. Sometimes I just don't know when to quit. This has led to many unnecessary hearbreaks... lots of lessons learned... but a better understanding of who I am.

I've learned to recognize when to quit... when to let that perserverence run crazy... but also recognize when to pull it back.

I don't know what your super-power is... but whatever it is it must be great... especially when you can recognize it in yourself. Too often we proceed through a relationship thinking that our love or our ability to love will conquer all... help the relationship move along. Unfortunately this isn't always true.

Whatever power you have.... accept it for what it is... but also understand it. Understand when to use it... when to hold it back.... and when to stop it completely.

Your Worth

"I am in a good place" I keep telling myself as I ponder my existence, and my recent experiences in life and love.

I have some of the most interesting conversations within the last few months, all in part due to my better understanding of who I am and where I am at.... but also an understanding of people's habits and actions.... why a person acts the way they do and the possibilites that result in that act.

I am venting in a way, in the only way I can which is through blog entries. I continue to keep the tradition of keeping my blog entries public, as a way to share my ideas so that others can compare with their own humanity.

It is amazing how clarity comes after the storm, but also after years of experience... and also "slowing down" for a change. I have a good life. I have no dysfunctionality, no anger, no problems, nothing.... and even if there is.... it does not affect me for long.

I have had some candid conversations in the last few months. I speak to Phi-long about his experience with his life and wife, bouncing ideas back and forth with him to better understand how people, or why people, act the way they do. Most often, his answers only support what I have already suspected.

Not giving up on love... that is something I have discussed with Jules. It is amazing how my storm brought her to my aid.... only to have it reversed for me to listen to her recent experiences. It helps that she's a fellow Cancer.

Jackie gave me recent insight on how it is to love someone deeply, but yet realize that love does not necessarily have to mean "relationship." Sometimes, loving someone isn't enough to change how you, or how they, feel.

Erin allowed me to understand, all based on a simple conversation on common interests (motorcycles, music, salsa dancing, windsurfing, snowboarding, and travel), that there are opportunities out there.... relationship opportunities.... available to you if you are willing to take that extra step.

Mourik, on our conversations on marriage and long term relationships, that being in a 3+ relationship that goes nowhere can have some very big problems.... only if you let it take ahold of you.

Kate, who gave me an understand that love is simple... love is young... love can last... and love does not have to be between just a husband and wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend.

And there is my recent conversation with Shannon, who has reminded me that with love... anything goes.

What I have come to the conclusion is that, if you love someone... or want someone... there is no excuse to not folow through.

If you really want someone, make the time.
If you really want someone, make the effort.

Sometimes you can give all the attention and love to someone... but you can't make them feel the same way towards you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, through your actions.... it is entirely up to them to realize what you are worth.