Adventures in Bug Catching

Saturday night should have a started with a good night's sleep.

After a night of dancing at the local adventure hole, Miami Beach Club, I headed home to my apartment with my date Rosie.

My apartment has a bunch of those really fast-growing vine plants which is a haven for spiders, lots. My door has those vines to the left and right of it so I'm always, if not careful, walking into strands of spider webs spun from one side to another. That's not including the spider webs that are spun above the door near the roof.

Before I even get near my door, I could see strands of spider webs from the reflection they made from my outdoor light. With a quick kick into empty space from Rosie, we've cleared our path to my door.

As I opened the door to my apartment and turned on the lights, the reflection of an additional spider web was seen at the bottom left-hand corner of my door outside.

I've been plagued with a spider web in this area for months now. Every time I clean it out is met with another spun web days later. I've been searching for the spider that is the master of this web for a long time, and tonight I finally came face to face with it.

"Oh my god be careful! That's the kind that bites!" said Rosie. My first thoughts were of a black widow however with some inspection I realized it was a wolf spider, and really BIG one.

"I'm going to get my vacuum" I said as i ran into the apartment. "But it's going to stay alive when you do that!" she said. "It's a more humane way of killing them!" I told her.

After plugging my weapon of choice in, I sucked the spider into the tubed vacuum...or did I? Before I could look Rosie cries out "Look! There's another spider trying to get inside!"

A spider was creeping it's way across the front of the door. With a quick vacuum suck i caught this one also and proceeded to check my job through the clear vacuum receiver.

I was able to see the smaller one but I didn't see the other one. There was a brief moment where I pointed the vacuum to the wolf spider where it tried to scurry off, but it was so dark that I couldn't tell if it went into the vacuum, or it made it to hiding.

For some refreshments I make my way towards the kitchen for some water. Before i could finish Rosie yells at me and says there's a cockroach in the apartment!

I turn around and spot this HUGE cockroach at the upper wall between the window and the door i just walked in. This was no ordinary cockroach that are fat, black, and are normally found near the ground. No, this was a brown to light brown cockroach (with a light yellow tint), 3 inches, and slim!

"Those are the ones that can fly!" piped Rosie. The last I saw the likes of these super cockroaches was when I was in the very warm country of Vietnam, where I had the simply luxury of having one in my shoe as I was putting my foot inside the shoe. Let's not forget to mention to occasional flutter of the cockroaches across the room as you tried to catch it.

Panic attack occured as I moved to turn up the lights in the living room, dining room, and kitchen area before I moved in for the kill. "Be careful! It's going to fly if you get near it, I know it!" said Rosie.

"Well what do you want me to do then!?!?" I exclaimed in freaked out moment. I've dealt with cockroaches in my apartment years ago with my weapon of choice, the vacuum, but how am I going to suck one up with my little...hand vacuum!?! "Make sure it doesn't go anywhere while I plug in the vacuum" I said. "I don't think it's going anywhere" Rosie said.

"Use a plastic bag" said Rosie. "How is that going to help!?!" I exclaimed. The cockroach isn't something you can just bump into the bag like trash I wondered.

Instead of listening to her, I figured I could spray it and annoy it enough for it to fly outside the door...with my air freshener. I also grabbed a bottle of Windex (Heck, I might as well clean the windows while I'm at it).

Sprays of the air freshener only made the cockroach make it's way towards the window and into the crevice of the opened window. Squirts of the Windex didn't work either as all it did was send it into hiding.

"Use a plastic bag! It's not going to go anywhere!" "Well how am I going to do that" I said. "Like this" as Rosie puts her arm into the bag and uses the other hand to pull the bag inside-out around the imaginary bug in her hand.

"Ohhh" I wondered. I didn't think about it that way. Doing so would mean I would have to get really close to a cockroach that could very well fly towards my face. Umm no, I'm not going to risk that.

"Hit it with something" said Rosie. Well, I don't have any sticks or rods! My little money tree had branches that could act as a stick. "How about we break a branch from your plant?" Rosie said.

I gave up the plant for safety, so I gave her the okay to break it off. Thing is, my plant's branch was too short for me to feel safe to flick the cockroach, I quickly realized as I got close to my target.

"It's going to fall on your bed" Rosie said. My bed is right against the wall where the cockroach was at. So, I pulled the bed away from the wall.

So the time comes to make a decision. With all the weapons to choose I select the vacuum again. With the end of the vacuum pointed to the cockroach, I attempted to suck in the bug only to send the cockroach to the ground, to where my shoe rack was at.

"GREAT. Not this again" I wondered to myself. As I was inverting my shoes, one by one, in search of the cockroach, Rosie yells "It went over there! Near your computer!"

I turn around and pull out the rolling filer to see the cockroach behind the supports of my computer table. I continue my vacuuming rampage only to have it scurry further behind the supports.

"There! It's on the bottom of your chair!" Rosie said. I turn to the chair right next to me and attempt to vacuum the bug as it ran around the bottom of my chair. It runs off again. This time towards the subwoofer opposite of the chair.

Well, the vacuum wasn't working at all so I grabbed a plastic bag and put my hand in it. Trying to grab the cockroach with my plastic bagged hand, I miss but not without wounding it by breaking one of it's legs as it ran. I finally grab the cockroach, inverted the bag, and immediately put the bag in another trash bag in the kitchen...at which time I tied the bag and proceed to take the bag to the dumpster.

Mission accomplished! Just as I got to the dumpster and was about to fling the bag in, a cat peeks out of the dumpster, sending me a step back in surprise. The cat's also surprised, and jumps out of the dumpster. Whew, what a night!