Challenges of Being a Instructor/Boyfriend

You'd think that I would've learned from my mistakes from my first dancing girlfriend. I'm still learning to understand that not everyone is going to be able to dance at the same level as me.

My dance partner on Thursdays is on vacation for the next three weeks so I was in need of a substitute until she returns. Instead of hiring a temp instructor for the next three weeks I opted to go for cheap labor and request the services of my girlfriend.

She is nowhere close to where I am in salsa dancing. Unlike myself she has taken no former classes in dance nor has she really dance with the likes of guys like Ronaldo, Rodchata, Enrique, and such. Her dance partners have typically been cumbia dancing men or cuban style such. The slot was unknown to her until she met me.

I warned her ahead of time that I have high expectations for my instructors and even though she's my girlfriend, for her taking up that role still meant that she's an instructor. I also told her that I'm going to be very short and stern when I'm showing her what we need to cover in class, and to not take it personally.

I spent all day thinking about what pattern I could teach that would be easy for my girlfriend to pick up. By the time 6:30pm rolled around I had an idea on what to cover and show her, step by step, on what to do and expect.

She did fine however I got annoyed, I wasn't trying to but I did. I got annoyed of all things... the way she turns.

Rather than get technical for all the non-dancing readers, I'll go as simple as possible...she doesn't turn the same way as I was taught...therefore I was annoyed...even though I shouldn't have.

She got a lot of the information down quickly, although there were some quirks that I could've let slide by but didn't...I wanted her to be perfect and I grilled her for not being so.

If it had been my last dance partner girlfriend, she would've gotten upset and would probably have yelled or something. yet this girlfriend seemed to handle everything pretty well.

The worst part during the night was that I was so stressed from teaching both parts the whole night (my regular instructor would talk on the women's steps whil I focus only on the men's) that I was pretty stern with two of my attendees. The sterness wasn't justified however the reasons were, because why are you here practicing your own moves when you should be practicing the patterns that I'm teaching?

Anyway so the whole teaching bit was over and the girlfriend and sister wanted to go out dancing. That wasn't so bad until the salsa music came on and we danced.

I was still in teaching mode, so much that I was so annoyed that she wasn't getting the turns and steps down that I wanted to stop dancing with her. I even told her, when we should be having fun, that she's not keeping up.

Calmly she told me "You have to be patient with me. The music is too fast." I rolled my eyes and kept dancing and When the song was over I told her I wanted to stop.

As we were sitting down, with the music from the club still blaring salsa music, it was about time I needed some air. I also wanted to talk to her outside where it's quieter about what I was feeling but she said she would rather stay inside. So I went outside by myself.

Although I met some people and I was chatting away, Jose comes up to me and asks what was up. "I had a fallout with the girlfriend" I told him. After some explanation he told me flat out "Look, you're really good at dancing but you can't expect everyone to be where you are at. Sometimes you gotta give in, relax, and bring yourself down to a level that she can handle. Aren't you happy when you're together? Wouldn't you rather be happy with her than to force her to be at your level?"

Sometimes it takes a friend to flat out turn things around on yourself. So yeah i felt bad, I figured by this time she would be dancing with someone else but no she was still sitting where I left her at. I went over and apologized and explained what I was feeling. All she responded was "I know. You just expect a lot. It's okay baby."