Procreation. Is it Needed?

My recent challenge was the thought of having kids with a woman that already has kids of her own.

The thought of having children with a woman is the last thing on my mind, especially when I'm still new within my career field and I have no wife as of yet. However one of the first things that come to mind is that I *should* have babies....more because of some stupid mindset that I should continue the Bui bloodline for another generation or else my family line ends with me. Not a strong argument I know.

What drives a person to want to have children? The joys of having a little one to care for? The satisfaction of watching a child grow to adulthood? Or something technical like having a blood line that continues and makes us proud?

I don't want children, at least not yet. If I had children right now it would be, by far, the biggest challenge I have encountered in time management. Do my parents want me to have kids? Fortunately they've never asked me when I was going to give them grandchildren.

What if the situation is when you are with a person that already has children (from another marriage, past relationships, etc.)? Would they be interested in having children with you? Do you even *want* to have children with them, thus upping the number of children the person has beared?

I would feel young and immature next to a person that has children already. It takes a lot of maturity to properly take care of kids....frankly I would feel stupid around them (very much like how some people who are not good at salsa dancing, dancing with someone who is really good. They either feel stupid or intimidated).

Is it right to justify one's self for having children? Is having kids so that your bloodline continues *really* a good justification? I agree that you should have a good reason for bringing in a new human being into life; but who's to say your reason or my reason for having kids appropriate or not?

A friend once told me that having kids isn't something that is planned for, it just happens and then you have to take up that responsibility. I suppose it is that same way for some people. You really can't justify your reason for having a child, because it was unplanned for.

Do Salsa Bullies Exist?

Do Salsa Bullies Exist?

Bullies = A group of individuals that tend to torment others, either through verbal harassment or physical assaults, or through more subtle methods of coercion. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bully)

The first time I encountered a bully was in the third grade when during lunch time he would come up to me and take the pudding snack that my mom so kindly had in my lunch bag each morning. Although it took a couple of weeks before I had the courage to grab and pull his hair until he cried, I learned one important thing about bullies: they exist!

Do salsa bullies exist, the kind that harrass you on and/or off the dance floor? The answers is yes.

A salsa bully is in all of us, ready to come out and enforce cruel justice when called upon. Yes, we all like to believe that we're nice-y salsa dancers but in reality if the right conditions are met we'll be a bully...bully your salsa ass right into the wall.

How many times have you been happily dancing salsa with your partner in a corner of the dance floor, in a little zone, only to have some unknown couple corral themselves right into your corner. Now why would you do that when there's plenty of room opposite of us and the dance floor corner?

How many times have you been in the middle of the dance floor with couples all around you, and there's that one couple that's taking more room on the dance floor than two elephants dancing samba, which results in them occasionally stepping on your foot or worse...bump into your elbow which sends your arm into your partners face? No, you mean it's only happened to me?

Some of the experienced salsa dancers know how to handle these folks with tactics only known to salsa bullies. Do you know any of these tactics on handling these situations? If not well I have one to share.

Situation: Possibly drunk couple is taking too much of the dance floor, their movements are inconsiderate of the people around them. Often found stepping on people's feet and bumping into others without apology. Sometimes seen laughing together like two Japanese school girls.

Solution: Salsa bullies will end their pattern runs and will turn one of their backs towards these types of couples, while slowly backing up into their zone of dancing....decreasing their space to dance. Although it is guaranteed that the couple will continue to bump into the salsa bully, the blunt of their attacks will be absorbed by the bully's back, very similar to a bullet-proof vest. This will result in the couple leaving the dance floor, or become submissive in their dance style because they don't know to take smaller steps. This maneuver is called "Backing It Up", not to be confused to a similar move done at hip-hop clubs where the guy backs his butt into a girl like a mating call of sorts.

You might disagree that this tactic isn't bullying but rather some sort of retribution to their inconsiderate dancing, however if you take it from the other couples's perspective while throwing in the definition of a "bully", it's difficult to rebuttal that you are indeed a bully when you perform this act!

Understand that the salsa bully is typically not a bully all the time, only at times of necessity or when needed. Does that sound similar to being a salsa hero? Well if you spend all night searching for these kinds of people and righting justice to the dancers around them then sure, you can be a salsa hero.

Esmeralda, Hitting on *Me*?

I can see now, firsthand, how salsa dancers should never hook up and break up, there's always bad blood involved. So here's my story.

Referring back to the last email Esmeralds sent me, I believe that she only sees me as a friend. The original blog is titled "interesting Words from Crush 2" on march 20. Although it extended through 3 mails this was the last thing she said:

"Jimmy, if I would have seen you when I walked into the place I would have said hello
but I didn't... My mind was elsewhere that day because so many things happened.
But like I said before it felt like I never got the opportunity to say hello. I
didn't realized it was going to bother you...Anyhow, hope we can keep being friends
without hard feelings. I think you are a real cool guy and would like to get to
know you as a friend."

Unless she's clueless to how telling a guy you see him as a "friend" is equivalent to giving him his last meal before the electric chair, I took it that she didn't have any interest in me. Since then I've only seen her once and the last thing I expected was for her to show up at of all places, Club Miami....on a slow Thursday night. Geez.

I haven't gone to a Thursday night in ages to Club Miami because it's just slow over there. I went out tonight because my two friends, Tami and Maggie, finally made an appearance to come out salsa dancing. The last time they went salsa dancing was probably a year ago.

Although my phone ran out of batteries, it didn't stop Jose from leaving me voicemails telling me that the whole gang is heading to Miami's tonight.

So I'm at the club for not too long, danced once with Maggie, Marisol, and Johanna, I hang out with Maggie and Tami at one of the back couches in the club. I'm sitting there and I look towards the lower steps and I see this girl walking by with a really nice red top...the kind you can tie in the back from top to bottom and is in the same style as back in the days where women used them to make their waists smaller. I only caught the side of her face but from where I'm at...she was cute, then I realized she looked an awful like Esmeralda.

Esmeralda would be the last person I would expect on a Thursday, at Miami, without her usual crew. I can spot her crew from awhiles away but I didn't see the usual suspects. Eventually she passes by again and settles at a table directly in front of my field of vision, aways back. I realize now it's Esmeralda.

"Great" I wondered. She was talking to a guy with the side of her face towards me. I wasn't sure if she saw me or not but eventually I believe she did...as her back eventually became towards me instead.

As I was giving my friends Maggie and Tami the scoop on Esmeralda, I observed a few times her looking towards my direction. My friends *also* told me that they can see that she's been looking at me.

Jose and I eventually meet up and I tell him "Hey, Esmeralda's here."

"Yeah I know" he replies. "I know the guys she's with. When I came in I saw them first and then she suddenly stands up and says "Hiii! How are you?" and I said "Ummm, not so good now.""

"Why? What's wrong?" she asks him. "Oh, no reason" he replies. Jose didn't like seeing her at the club, and I'm sure he probably was thinking that it was going to be awkward between me and her.

So throughout the night I did not acknowledge that she was there, although I wasn't sure how long I could do that...the club's not that big so I'm sure eventually we'd have to cross paths one way or another.

"The guys she's hanging out are a bunch of players" Jose tells me. These guys also have girlfriends but he's seen them making out with other girls before.

I did a good job avoiding her, although now Jose tells me that she's been checking me out the whole night.

Eventually I ended up outside chatting away with one of the security guys by the restrooms. I had a good feeling she'll eventually come out this way, however I couldn't hide as my conversation with the security guy was pretty in-depth.

Esmeralda eventually *does* head towards the bathroom but not before her spotting me and coming over and saying hi.

So she's looking at me with wide opened eyes and gives me a hug and kisses me on the cheek. "How are you?" she asks in a happy mood. "I'm doing good" I reply after she releases me.

She's too close to me. I would imagine if you hugged someone you'd at least step back out of the person's zone of comfort but no, she's standing *right* in front of me. She's so close that I could see the hair in her nostrils. Yeah, *that* close.

"So why haven't you emailed or called me? I haven't heard from you since my last email." She says.

Well gee, I don't know why I wouldn't try contacting you again. "What do you mean? I haven't gotten any emails from you recently. *You* have a phone you can always call me you know." I say.

At this point I introduce her to security, and so they make some quick small talk until she turns to me and asks "So, what have you been up to?"

Before I could answer security continues to talk (he likes to talk) so I shifted the attention to him instead. So he's talking and she then asks me again "So, what have you been up to?"

That's two times she's asked! I suppose she's trying to talk to me. Funny thing is before I could answer her this time my drunk friend Audrey stumbles over and makes some comments about something, while having a beer and a cigarette both in one hand.

"Hello my drunk friend!" I tell Audrey, shifting the focus onto him. "Hey Jimmy, don't say that to me!" "Hey, I'm just being honest" I inform him. "Okay, well don't be that honest with me!" he continues in his drunken state.

I guess at this point Esmeralda either needed to use the restroom or figured that I wasn't going to talk to her and heads to the restroom. After she was done there she never stopped by. Later throughout the night I think she was still checking me out, although I'm not sure because I spent the rest of the night dancing!

Oh well. Just to be nice I sent her an email telling her I don't have her email:

"Hello, you didn't come back after going to the restroom. I didn't get a chance to tell you that I don't have your number. Anyway, can't anticipate me calling or emailing you if you give/make the same effort back. catch you later."

I think this email will get my pont across.

How The Boys Pimp

One of my biggest challenges is that I go dancing to just...dance. As much as I come to a club and I may be attracted to girl, I come off more as a guy serious about salsa dancing and less interested in hooking up. So typically I don't show any interest in anyone unless I'm interested in them...black and white.

With my homies Jose and octavio it's not black and white. On our drive up to Glas Kat I learned some interesting methods to how they get so many girls interested in them, or their ability to get numbers.

I Sometimes think back to the movie "40 Year Old Virgin" because of a comment that Andy makes that practically sums up how I act occasionally:

"I respect women. I respect them so much that I'm afraid to talk to them!"

I respect women too much, especially when it comes to dancing. Too proper and professional. So how do the guys do it?

"Well the important thing is you want to dance with these women as if you're really interested in sleeping with them" Jose tells me. Apparently my problem is my interest in practicing abstinence until the next ice age.

It's okay to flirt with someone physically, how you move or touch them but more importantly you want to express the aura that you're interested in having sex with them...and you'll be damn good at it.

"The important thing is to keep them guessing" Jose continues to add. Dance with them, thank them for dancing with you, and walk away.

Aggressiveness is a turn-off for most women, so the purpose is to give some breathing room for her to think about you but also to wonder whether or not you'll be interested in them.

Thinking back, there have been times where I've danced with someone a little bit closer than most, which resulted in them having more of an interest in me...even if I wasn't focused on getting to know them more.

That doesn't mean you're supposed to forget about her!" Octavio adds. Ask her to dance sometime later in the night after you've danced with a few other people. For obvious reasons, going back to asking her to dance repeatedly (but spaced out) would show that you're still thinking of her...or at least interested in her.

So now I have learned some additional skills to practice with. Perhaps *you* have learned something also!

A Night Full of Drunks (Part 2)

So we have two drunk Mexicans who don't know when to stop, a girl that's been left behind at the club by her male friend, a white drunk that's too aggressive and can't stand up straight, and an asian that's sober but his friend thinks otherwise. So how does this night end?

Octavio met a girl on Friday night at Miami and apparently things went so well that she came out to dance with him Saturday night at the FOrum. One thing led to another and so he got a ride home with her instead for their own after party.

Mike had a little trouble leaving the club. "Did you have a good time?" I asked him while I was waiting for Nicky to come out of the bathroom. "No" he replies.

"Well what's wrong?"
"I can't find my tag."

He fumbles through his pockets and pulls out his wallet and two receipts. At first I wasn't sure what exactly he was talking about until he finally said "The tag for my jacket!"

Trying to help him, and figuring that one of the other two has the tag, I ask Audrey and octavio if they have his tag when they meet up with us.

"Huh? Tag? What's a tag? No I don't have his tag." Each of them replies in their drunk manner. Okay well no point there.

Nicky comes out and is immediately stopped by Audrey. I can only deduce that Audrey was either trying to get her number or inviting her to one of their many "after parties." In any case I *did* hear her say "I'm getting a ride from Jimmy already."

Jose took my keys thinking I was buzzed/drunk earlier in the night when I answered "I don't know" to his main question: "How many drinks did Mike give you?"

No matter how many times I told him I wasn't drunk, he insisted that he could tell from my eyes that I was buzzed...also he said I wasn't walking straight. Well, I *was* pretty sore throughout my left leg so it was hard to walk, and I *have* been doing dancing marathons for the last three days; but that wasn't enough to prove to him I was sober.

Audrey, probably less drunk than Mike, drives Octavio's car back to their place, so they must've made it home because apparently....they continued to party back at their place. Probably brokeback or something.

So that leaves Nicky. Her story by far is the most interesting.

She asks if I could accompany her to the parking lot to see whether or not he left yet. On our way there she's obviously cold and although I was thinking I should offer my jacket to her; Jose does it first.

"Oh you don't have to do that" she replies. "No really, if my mom knew I didn't offer my jacket she'd kill me" replies Jose.

"Why didn't *you* offer me your jacket?" she turns and asks me. "I'm selfish" I reply (I'm don't remember saying that, but Nicky swears I did after confirming with her the next day or two.)

Upon reaching the parking lot we see that his car is gone so that leads to the next question: does she know where he lives?

"Yeah, he lives off of Fair Oaks" she replies. So since I wasn't allowed to drive Jose gives her a lift to Angel's place while I sit in the backseat.

Jose says "Why didn't open the door for her? What kind of man are you?"

Of course Nicky starts asking me the same question. "You bear no importance at this time" I reply. She's shocked.

It's important to mention that I'm a perfect gentleman when it comes to dates, my mom, or any significant other. I've learned through my experience that there's a time to be a gentleman and there's a time not to be....because doing it too often to the wrong person gives them an opening to use you if you're not careful.

So upon arriving at her friend's place we find that he made it home, as his car was present in his parking space. Nicky tries to open the back window to the truck but all the doors are locked. While Jose waits in the car I walk with her to his door. She rings his doorbell repeatedly.

Knowing drunks, unless you cause enough ruckess they won't open the door so I proceed to bang on the door oh a few dozen times until we hear a voice say "Who is it!?!"

"YOu should hide. He might act differently if you're standing with me" she says. So I walk down away from the door until I see that she walks in. I figured she's probably okay now so I go back into the car and wait until she comes out. Not waiting long she finally comes out and enters Angel's truck.

"Go out and see if she needs any help." Jose tells me. "She looks like she has things under control" I tell him. "Look, it doesn't hurt to be nice you know" Jose tells me.

"Fine fine" I reply. So I'm outside and we talk a bit while she's getting her stuff out she mentions that she doesn't want to go back in by herself to return his keys. "If I don't see you in 5 minutes I'll come in and get you" I tell her. Luckily I didn't have to be a hero however when she left his place she tells me something that I should have expected from the likes of him.

"Hey, come here" he tells her while she was walking away towards the door of his apartment. Not really interested in coming hither to him, Nicky tells him to tell her whatever he needs to say from where he's at.

"When you come with me, you stay with me" he tells her.

Okay, don't you remember she told you she has a boyfriend? So why you getting all huffy and stupid? Anyway Nicky finally comes out and I tell her to call me when she gets home so I at least know she made it home.

After a lengthy drive and 4:30am in the morning later (the time change also occured this night) we talk on the phone about various things including what it means to be a gentleman.

"He opens doors for me but he ends up being a jerk for leaving me at the club, and you don't open doors or offer your jacket yet you were nice enough to help me get home" she states.

With some explanation I informed her that he was trying to impress her so he would be at his best behavior, of course. Whereas for me I only learned to be a gentleman to women I'm interested in, have close connections to, a relative, etc....not a stranger.

As for me, Jose figured I would be sober enough to drive from his place to mine (5 minutes) so he turns his keys back to me when I reach his place. After a couple of days Jose tells me why he figured I was drunk, because of the way I was walking. I wasn't walking straight.

"Well gee, don't you remember all the times I was whining about how my legs were sore at the thighs, ankles, and calve muscles? Of course I wouldn't be walking straight, my legs were tired after another night of dancing!" Geez.

The Almost Tara Hook-Up

My phone ran out of batteries on Tuesday so I never answered my phone, but that didn't stop my Octavio from leaving a voicemail that we were going to Glas Kat, and my name magically appeared on their guess list!

So octavio wanted to go salsa dancing and decides to round up the usual suspects, Jose and myself. Now I already started a new job that I enjoy because it takes some actual brain power to do, and to stay up late any night would mean mistakes are made the next morning.

Our drive up to Glas Kat was a fun one, as I was told some girls have thought I was gay (I don't ask girls to dance, so what'd they think?), I need to get laid more (because apparently if you don't use it, you lose it), Octavio's choice in women, what's the highest number of orgasms we got a woman to have in one night (12 was the highest), how I should get to know Nicky more from Saturday, and our usual banters about the girls we've met.

When we make it to the club and the dancing starts Jose spots a really cute girl taking the salsa lesson with a blonde streak going through the middle of her hair. "She's cute" Jose tells Octavio, so later she's the first girl octavio asks to dance. Jose and I are on the side standing and watching. Octavio eventually dances with someone else and the blonde girl with the streak sits down by the water fountain.

"Okay we're going to have to give you a target to dance with, because I know if I don't you're not going to ask any strangers to dance. Okay, I want you to ask that girl to dance" Jose says and points to the girl with the blonde streak.

So I go up to her and ask her to dance. At first she didn't seem too interested in dancing until after we started moving on the dance floor. "Oh wow, you can dance!" she exclaims while we're dancing. Our dancing consists of me asking her questions and her asking me what she was supposed to do with that last move (where she lives, goes to school, etc.).

After one song she says she asks if I want to dance another. "Sure!' I reply and off we go. After it was all over I ask for her name, it's Emily.

So she sits down back where she was at (right by the railing to the left of the entry to it) while I return back to Jose. Jose and I are chatting away (he's to the right of me) and I notice that Emily moved to sit at a spot closer to where we were seating, not that close, around 10-15 feet away. I observe from the corner of my eye her turning once to look at my direction, no big deal. A little bit later Jose tells me "Hey, ask her to dance again. She keeps looking this way, *and* she moved to sit a little bit closer to us. You know how girls play the game." "Umm, not really" I reply. Haha, I really don't!

So I go up and ask Emily to dance and she's ecstatic that I ask her to dance. So we're dancing and we talk more about how often each of us comes to this club, where I'm from, etc. After it was all over she says:

"I'm leaving in 20 minutes but I'll look for you later" she says. Okay no problem, so I'm off to drink some water or whatever.

As she was walking from the dance floor she catches me and we exchange some words:

Emily: "Are you coming here next week again? You *have* to come!"
Jimmy: "Welll, it's a bit of a drive for me but how about I give you my number or I get your number and we can go from there."
Emily: "Okay sure!"

So we move to the bar up front at which time she writes down my name and number on a napkin. I whip out my phone, thinking that I should get her number also to which she replies:

Emily: "I can't give you my number. The thing is I have a boyfriend and if any guy calls me, dance partner or not, he'll start some sh*t...."
Jimmy: "Ohh one of those, okay no problem."

Later, Octavio tells Jose he was trying to get her number also but didn't know I spoke to her already. "Forget it, she has a boyfriend" Jose tells octavio. "Okay, then it's all jimmy then!"

While I was sitting down in the corner near the DJ, I spy at the corner of my eye these two girls looking at me and one of them points at me. I wasn't sure if they were pointing at me or whatever, so I just played it off.

For some reason later in the night I ended up standing by myself near the front bar of the club, probably trying to cool down from some non-hardcore dancing. I see the two girls approach me from the other side of the club, ever so slowly.

"You look awfully familiar" replies the blonde one. Both of the girls are really cute although the one with the free-flowing top with the nice top, low cleavage, with dark long hair looked hot.

"Yeah?" I reply. "Well let's start somewhere. Where do you usually go dancing at?" I ask. From this point on I ask a lot of questions and we all realize that I look familiar to some guy name Juan with a scar down his face.

"That's okay. It's always good to meet new people" she replies. You don't say. Their names are Stacey and Tara, Tara's the hot one that I'm totally interested in getting to know. Tara's from Oakland and Stacey is from walnut Creek.

So with some talking about Agenda, how they don't go dancing in this area very often (because they're from the East Bay), I'm trying to build some rapport or something that would lead to me getting Tara's number. At a very untimed coincidink, Jules sees me and walks right towards me from the direction I was looking at and grabs my arm and pulls me away from the girls, middway while I was talking!

As my game slowly disappeared in a blink, Jules turns around and says "Sorry girls" and proceeds to pull me away to a spot a few feet from them to discuss an issue.

Although the issue between Jules and I has now been resolved, the two girls left before I even had a chance to get their number. >Sigh<

A Night Full of Drunks (Part 1)

I lost a very important ring on Saturday at The Forum (Venus Discoteque) in Sunnyvale. It's the stainless steel ring with the two infinity signs wrapped around the whole band, signifying longevity in my life. My grandmother gave it to me but that wasn't the only thing that made the night bad.

Saturday night was meant staying at home. I had already danced for three nights earlier (Wed - Frid), each of which I did a dancing marathon. As of Saturday my thighs, ankles, and calve muscles were sore. I told both Jose and Octavio I didn't want to go out dancing.

However what I want isn't always what I get; Jose calls me and tells me to get my butt in gear and meet him at his place because we're going to the Forum (We have free entry tonight because Octavio and his cousin knows the people at the door). Since it's free we might as well be game. The plan for Jose and I was go there, have a drink, and watch people dance, and leave.

Jose has Octavio & Audrey on the phone and they tell us we need to be at the club before 10:30 so we can get in, Jose informs me from the way they were talking they were already wasted. It's 10:00pm so I'm flying at 80 mph to get there from San Jose. They tell us they'll wait for us.

We get there at 10:20 and they're not even there yet so we call them: "Oh don't worry, we can still go in after 10:30pm" they inform us. "So why the hell did you tell us we needed to rush and be there" I wondered to myself.

When they finally arrive Octavio pops the trunk of his car and pulls out a bottle of tequila and a shot glass. So we all take shots (including me) then they pull out a bag of beer. I don't drink beer so I don't take one but the tequila shot went down easily.

At this point I'm on the phone with someone and there's a truck right next to us with two people talking in it. As I'm talking I see Audrey decides to make the parking lot his urinal, and proceeds to do his duty between two cars that are next to us and his car. Unfortunately, the car in front of where he was, was the one with two people in it. Although the passengers in that car did not notice, I did, and so I moved to 500 yards away from these drunks just in case there's trouble. Fortunately I didn't have to wait long and so we make our way into the club.

We hang at the main floor near the bar for a bit when I see a short haired, asian woman standing a few feet away from me, looking at me. I make the mistake of looking at her direction because she then proceeds to walk and stand next to me. I try to play it off, even to the point of turning my back towards her and facing towards the bar. She then steps and moves to my right side next to the bar also. "Okay this isn't good" I wonder to myself, and so I hint to Jose that we need to move somewhere else. Close call, I don't see her for the rest of the night!

We proceed to the second floor at which time Audrey hands me two cups, one of coke and the other "Liquid Cocaine." After a sip of the liquid it's so nasty that I down the rest of the coke in the other cup, and I gave the liquid cocaine back to Audrey.

Two girls walk in to the bar and Audrey walks up to them and starts talking to the one in pink. He signals me over and before I even reach them he takes the one in pink (Margarita) to the dance floor! So unsure of what to do I introduce myself to this person (Karen) and we're off dancing Merengue.

So I'm done dancing one or two Merengue songs and Mike is hanging at the bar. Mike doesn't dance at all but he's a good guy. I'm really tired so I have my back to the dance floor and I'm leaning on the bar table to relieve my back. Mike and I chat for a bit but he says I need to do a tequila shot with him. So I take the shot with him and learn that you always want to breathe in as you drink the shot, suck on the lime and salt, and then breathe out. Apparently it works because I don't feel buzzed at all.

Some time after a white girl with a latin guy walks into the second floor and stands right next to me. Mike decides to push me hard enough where I almost went smack into this girl. Mike tells her to dance with me, she looks at me funny so rather than make this situation worst than it is I ask her to dance. She complies and so we're off Merengue dancing.

Now she came in with a guy and I'm fully aware of this but I do not know their status. All I can say is right after she starts dancing with me he storms out of the floor. Okay, now I know this was bad. She doesn't seem to mind though and proceeds to ask me questions and answer my questions in a bubbly way. Her name is Nicky and she's from Monterey. She was in Palo Alto visiting a college friend and stopped by to meet up with her friend "Angel" which is whom she was with. They're just friends.

So we're dancing and we stop and she's telling me something but I can't hear her. So I pull her a little bit away from the floor but instead she pulls on my hand and we end up in the upper upper back room of the club, where it's really quiet. This is the first time I've been in it and I soak myself in the moment. I turn around and there's Mike sitting on the sofa in the back!

Mike calls us over and so we go up to him and I can tell he's drunk....because he kisses her on both cheek for some odd reason. She invites Nicky to sit down (but not me, but that's okay) at which time Nicky asks me to sit down. So when I sit down she turns towards me and we all proceed to talk.

She's asking me a bunch of questions about dancing but before I can answer most of them completely Mike keeps responding for me. Okay bottom line, he's drunk and the worst thing was that he kept using foul language and told her to shut up at two parts in the conversation. Nicky was polite about it but after she said she needed to look for her friend and asked me to accompany her, she told me that Mike was being a jerk.

I think we parted ways somewhere because I don't remember anything except that I ended back upstairs myself and I had a girl ask me to dance. Nicky eventually shows up and we catch up again.

She finds her friend and she's happy because he's dancing with some girl on the dance floor but she says she thinks he's a bit drunk.

Mike later buys Jose and I another drink although I'm not sure what it was. I down this drink quick and interesting enough, I'm still not buzzed or drunk from all this drinking. It's probably due to my heavy dinner of tacos with my dad earlier in the night.

Nicky and I talk again and she tells me that she can't seem to find her friend in the club. I volunteer to help look for him but I don't see him anywhere (she introduced me to him earlier) and the club is pretty dead at this time (around 1:00am). We start to speculate that he may have left without her but we figure that he was drunk and forgot about her? Nicky says her things were in his car: keys, money, purse, everything. So how is she going to get home to Monterey?

He wasn't the only one that was drunk. Octavio, Audrey, and Mike were all a bunch of drunks by the time the club was closing up and they didn't seem very coherent. How the heck are these guys going to get home?

So I have a girl that has a friend that ditched her and lives in Monterey, I have a white boy that can't seem to stand up straight, two Mexicans that obviously didn't know when to stop drinking, and Jose who things I'm drunk and took my keys away from. How is this night going to end?

Smells Can Be Deceiving

Don't be hating the girl, hate the smell.

So the person I was dancing with at Agenda is Marla (her name was brought up once in an earlier blog), the last time I saw her was weeks ago on the same night that I had the drama with Esmeralda and Sandra. Before that was at Miami Beach (the girl I danced bachata with).

After the incident with Esmeralda I thought to myself I should've asked for Marla's number. Her actions and body language indicated she was attracted to me the two times I've met her.

So I come upstairs and I turn left just as she turns right. With a surprised look on her face she says hi and leans over to hug me. I'm also suprised, as it's been long since I've seen her, and I tell her while I'm next to her ear that I'm glad that I finally saw her again because "I wanted to get your number."

"Yeah?" she replies next to my ear. Pulling away and with a smile she says "well why don't we dance then?" I ask her if she's been downstairs yet so we go down and she asks me to dance again. "I have to go meet with my friend back upstairs but when you're ready come back up."

So I'm upstairs chatting away with the gang and I see Marla come up with her friends. Without a word to Marla, and while continuing to talk to the gang, I reached out and held Marla's hand and off we went to the dance floor.

After a song I ask if she wants to keep dancing. "Yes" she replies. So we dance another song and I ask the same question again....same response.

Well you get the idea at this point. So I tell her "Just to let you know I'll keep dancing until you say stop. In fact let's play a game. We'll keep dancing until you stay stop but just to let you know I can dance for a long time!" She accepts the dare and we dance.

Marla's cute, somewhat "healthy" but not too bad. While dancing with her I detected a funny smell on her.

"Is it her perfume? Because I don't like how it smells" I wondered to myself. The smell was always there and steady, so it must've been some sort of perfume...or perm....isn't it?

I couldn't tell, but it was a ranky smell....not sewage like but enough for you to crinkle your nose. The smell bothered me enough where I started to lose my interest in her.

Well frankly I can keep dancing with her, so it's safe to assume that the smell wasn't always there...just comes in and out...otherwise I wouldn't have danced 80 minutes nonstop with her.

I *did* warn her though if she were to stop. "If you stop dancing with me I have to warn you that you won't be able to dance with me anymore for the night." "Oh? Why is that" she asks. "Well because everyone's going to want to dance with you after this, now that I've been dancing with you all this time" I reply.

In the end, I had to end the dancing because between 11:00 and 11:30 was our planned exit time....for Octavio, Jose, and myself.

In my head I was wondering how I should've kept my mouth shut about how I wanted to get her number. I should've waited until *after* the dancing to say that!

As she walked off the dance floor Jose and g/f were also leaving. so they led the way to the exit while I see Marla at the end of the bar pouring a cup of water to herself. I wave to her goodbye and she gives me this non-typical look.

It was the kind of look that says "What? Didn't you say you were going to ask for my number?"

Hmmm I'm sorry. Although I don't know where the smell originates from, I don't think I can have a relationship with it...or her.

I can still smell it even after my shower....so I guess it's burned in my head now. Gazooks!

Salsa Marathons & Useless Girls

While at Agenda last night I made a dare with my dance partner Marla that we'll keep dancing until she says stop, to see how long we can go. She agreed and it was 10:00pm. We proceeded to dance through salsa, bachata, cha-cha, and Merengue and it's funny doing dancing marathons because at some point you start running out of patterns to do.

I ran out of patterns sometime between the time my pants started to lose ground on my hips (was I losing weight dancing?) and that second cha-cha song. In the end *I* was the one who had it call it quits, more because Jose and his girlfriend wanted to go. Our end time? 11:20pm, that's 80 minutes of nonstop dancing without breaks!

Unfortunately, a lot of things were happening while I was dancing my marathon:

I didn't Say hi to Julian and Jules,
I didn't get to see Giana,
I didn't dance with my friend Tracy,
I didn't drink any water and my mouth was getting chappy,

Well to sum it up I didn't do anything while I was dancing.

So that was my night. The last time I did a dancing marathon was with my ex-girlfriend Lisa, and that lasted two hours at some club in Santa Cruz! Okay, so on to my peeve.

Useless Girls

There's only one girl that I'm going to talk about, her name is Johanna and she's a bartender at Miami Beach. She works the second bar in the club, curly long hair, Peruvian, and is always dancing or something.

So I call Octavio later in the night to tell him to come to the club. He tells me that Johanna called him up earlier and asked him to accompany her to Agenda.

Octavio shows up separately, about the same time I come to the club. She calls him later and tells him to meet her outside.

They come in together, she asks him to pay for her because she forgot to bring money. (WHAT)

Then they go to the bar, and she asks him to buy her a drink because she...yes....still has no money. (@&@!)

After a night of dancing with people other than Octavio, she asks him to go eat with her.

They go and she says she's going to buy a drink while Octavio walk towards the back to get a burrito. He thinks that she's going to buy him one also. Before he gets far she tells him to get her a burrito also. He returns with the burrito, but she didn't buy a drink for him.

Okay some questions are brought up:

1. You *know* the club charges so why didn't you bring money to pay at the door?
2. You like to drink, so why don't you bring money for drinks?
3. You could've pulled money obviously, how else did you get that last drink?
4. Use someone else to hold your pile of keys!
5. Octavio, why the hell are you being so nice to this woman that's using you for attention?

So it's part his fault I know for allowing her to do this. Shiet, I smacked it into his head over the phone what was going on when called me when the night was over. He was going to tell her through email some BS on how he's going to ignore or whatever but I told him no....just don't be nice to her anymore, that's all you have to do. You don't need all that grand exit.

I can relate, I had a girl do the exact same thing to me when I was twenty. From that point on I've been quicker at picking up girls trying to use me, so it peeves me to see anyone doing this. The only girls I know that do these tricks are those that crave attention. Geez.

Free Tacos!

Not a whole lot happened Saturday night, just some interesting observations.

Octavio had called us to go to The Forum in Sunnyvale but Jose doesn't like The Forum too much so we had plans to just stay in San Jose instead.

Octavio: "So you guys coming to Venus Discoteque? We need dancers!"
Jose: "What? So you actually have women with you? How many men and how many women?"
Octavio: "We have all guys here! Bring some of your girls with you!"

Well gee, that didn't work out. So we decided to stay in San Jose.

Jose hadn't gone to Miami Beach this week so we were at the club at around 10:30pm. it was really slow at this time but that didn't stop the bartender from buying me a shot of tequila. As the rule goes, if someone puts a drink in front of me I'll drink it however it would seem that tequila shots get nastier every time I drink them.

The usual crowd that I've seen (but don't talk to) started to filter into the club little by little, including this one woman that kept looking and asking jose to dance with her weeks ago (from what Jose says, she can't even dance the cumbia step) so our goal that night was to avoid eye contact with this woman and not give her the opportunity to ask Jose to dance.

After about half an hour of standing around and not dancing, Octavio's get together at the Forum in Sunnyvale started to look good. Throughout this whole time the woman was indeed looking at him the whole time and smiling, ahaha, I'm glad I'm not on her radar. Jose asked if I wanted to check out the Forum since there were no one to dance with here. I said sure and he said he needed to go to the bathroom before we go.

The woman we're talking about was standing between us and the bathroom. Instead of staying put I decided to follow Jose to the other side of where the woman was, thinking that if I move she wouldn't notice me, as I was in a position where I was near the door so everytime someone walks in I'm always within her field of vision. So I'm between the woman and the bathroom now.

I did my best to not be noticed, as I was standing there a guy walked by her and she grabbed him with both hands...just barely pulling him into the dance floor and told him to dance with her. The guy puts his hand up in the air and indicates no, and off he goes to the restroom. She expresses disatisfaction and in the corner of my eye I see her looking my way.

"Oh crap oh crap, I hope she doesn't ask me to dance" I started to think to myself. She then walks up to me and asks me to dance. "CRAP."

So I put my jacket down and I attempt to dance salsa with this woman. I quickly find out she doesn't do the slot but rather the side by side cumbia step. Okay, So I change my style thinking that it would help...it didn't...but I made the best of it. I can make us look like superstars right?

Hmm, I'm not sure. She didn't have a range of movements she could do, realized from trial and error, so I ended up doing perhaps 3 or 4 cumbia movements throughout the whole song. Jose came out and looked at me funny and laughed, he knows I fell victim to this woman.

After the song was over, I quickly thanked the woman and with a quick grab of my jacket we were off to the Forum.

We were supposed to get in for free to the club but Octavio was probably too drunk to answer his phone to let the people know we're okay. No problem. So we get upstairs to the salsa dancing room and it's packed elbow to elbow up there, you can feel the heat permeating the room, and it was 11:30pm.

We spot Octavio salsa dancing with someone that obviously knows how to salsa dancing. She had the hips, the feet, and the arm styling all there. I was instantly attracted to her, more because of her booty. It was nice booty, not that Jessica Alba kind but rather the kind one could describe as "J-Lo" booty. I've never really seen J-Lo's booty so I'm just guessing at this point.

After our hellos to everyone Octavio buys us a round of tequila shots. So far I hadn't gotten drunk from the first shot. Interesting enough, I didn't get sick or drunk from this shot either although I was a bit buzzed before the only dancing I did that night, bachata.

I danced bachata with the J-Lo booty. She's not Octavio's friend but I went over to her, while she was talking to her guy friend, and asked her to dance. he didn't seem to mind and so we danced. Dancing with her was too good, as she knew how to dance. She was really close to me and was able to move fairly quickly everytime I put her into a turn. The most amazing part was when I subtely led that I wanted to drop down and do that squirming movement. She was so good that I felt her *leading me* instead of the other way around. After one song she ended our dancing immediately. Damn, I told myself I'd be first to end it but I was so caught up dancing with her!

Then I remembered where I saw her. Roccapulco, back in September with Octavio and his ex-wife, with her tall boyfriend that kind of looked like her. They had that same nose, perhaps they were Puerto Rican? I tell jose my findings.

At this point we realize that the salsa room wasn't as packed as when we first walked in, in fact there was just enough couples on the dance floor to fill it up....with enough room for each couple to take a full step back or forward. Jose hasn't danced so far and says "There's no one to dance with! Let's go!" Cool, I'm fine with that.

As we're leaving the floor I notice that the J-Lo booty girl watching me from the corner of my eye. "Yeah I know, I'm wondering how we would salsa dance together also" I thought in my head.

After getting our jackets from the coat room, at what someone can only call "Perfect Timing," as we reached the door Esmeralda and her two friends walk in! It was so quick that there was no time to think about anything. "Where are you guys going?" Esmeralda asks Jose. "There's no one to dance with upstairs!" he replies. I wave hello to her but I didn't get very far...as she leaned forward and kind of advertised her cheek out to be kissed hello. So I did the cheeky kiss thing, and off we went! Wow! What an exit!

Thinking that our night was done, Jose says he hadn't danced at all tonight and wanted to dance at least once before ending the night...so we're back at Miami Beach. "Great. I just told all the staff I was done for the night!" I told him.

Masood was also there but he introduced me to a very attractive woman. "It's her birthday and I feel bad that I promised her I would dance with her but I haven't" he says. "By the way, she can't hear but she can follow really well by watching you."

Intrigued, I said yes. I've wondered (honestly) a few times on how even if I was deaf I could probably catch the beat of the music from the vibrations made from the speakers. I wanted to try this out. Unfortunately, cumbia was the only thing that was up.

So we dance in the very crowded room and she actually knows how to follow! It was a bit rough and bumpy but she did really well! I kind of had to tap her the beat on her back a few times but overall great! She hand signalled a couple of times how crowded it was but in the end we had to stop at some point. I wanted to talk to her a bit more but I realized that I didn't have my PDA with me...so I wouldn't be able to write anything out to talk to her. Damn, she was pretty.

There's a woman that's a regular at the club on Saturdays that's always dressed very nice in dresses. I've seen her many times and I've seen how she dances....not fast enough to keep up with me so I've never asked her to dance. I've seen many guys hit on her or talk to her or dance with her so I never felt bad for not asking her to dance...she has plenty of attention.

Late in the night Masood and her are sitting next to one another eating soft tacos and talking. I somehow ended up nearby them and Masood taps me and asks if i wanted to have some. Before I could answer the woman looks at me and gives me her two tacos instead. "Here you can have mine. I don't like it" she says. Yeah? Wow! Free food! I munch one down and give the other Jose.

What she doesn't know is that she's just made a new friend, anyone that feeds me makes me happy. So I know her name now, Angie, so the next time I see her I'm going to ask her to dance!

Update: I spoke to Octavio and I found out J-Lo Booty broke up with her boyfriend some time ago, and the guy is Octavio's friend. The friend and J-Lo are just starting out a relationship.

Lust, Love, Infidelity, & Everything in Between

Self Reflection: Lust, Love, Infidelity, & Everything in Between.

My life...has been an enjoyable yet there's a lot I haven't done and a lot I will never do. One of those things is love-less sex.

I did the so called "fling" that some of us look for each night when we go out stalking prey once, only once, and I'll never do it again.

I felt used, empty, lost in what I should be feeling, and uncomfortable that night...which ultimately shaped the way I am today.

I don't do flings and I'll never do it again..ever...however like any other human being with desires I lust for what many call "a night of passion."

I am fortunate though. I have a good friend, his name is Jose, without him I think that I would have succumbed to the lust and picked up a stranger to bring back to my place...only to wake up the next morning regretting what I did.

He speaks highly of me and in the short amount of time we've known each other he considers me a good friend. In fact, I'm his only good friend that's male. It is *because* he sees me as this high moral person that I am less inclined to break that image.

I do not see it as something bad but rather something that motivates me to stay on this path I have drawn. In a way, Jose also stays on this path because he has someone to walk it with.

I have learned by observing and hearing of his actions towards his girlfriend that Jose and I are not too different when it comes to how we treat the women we love, or care for.

One of our best attributes is the skill of understanding. I remember making a very clear statement to a listener about how people today are too quick to give up relationships and that many feel that they are too busy to take the time to understand one another....everyone's an individual....and although we typically search for similarities in another person of the opposite (or sometimes same) sex, we are still individuals and should be treated as so.

I feel strongly that people should take the time to understand one another...whether it's a friend or someone you care about because:

People make decisions based upon their past experiences.

I recently observed a woman, obviously married with a ring on her finger with a child from her husband, attempt infidelity. This woman courted a man not her husband with words of attraction, get togethers, phone calls, and text messages.

Is this her first attempt at infidelity, or has she done this before? After some digging I realize that this is her first attempt....the result of her fustrations that her husband does not want to sleep in the same bed as her...nor wishes to make love to her.

She is attractive, with many men trying to court her, ring or not...yet she has always turned them all down until she saw another man that she was obviously attracted to. Who's at fault, the husband or her?

Perhaps it's the husband...as any man that does not want to have sex with their attractive wife could only mean that he's putting his hot dogs in somone else's oven.

Perhaps it's her...why attempt to sleep with another man if you still have your phat wedding ring on? At least have the decency to take it off if you want to cheat.

There's a lot of details to this, but my take is, if you have plumbing problems at home with your husband then talk to him....not look for a different plumber to clean your pipes. All it takes is a little communication and understanding.

She's shown interest in me also however I've never given her the impression that I was interested in her. She's rubbed against me, dance seductively in front of me, but I've never responded back. She asked me once why I wasn't turned on from the dancing. ">shrug< It's just dancing."

I'm fortunate that I have a social skill called salsa dancing, for without I wouldn't be meeting women constantly. Unfortunately, the way I am attracted to a woman is based on what she says and how she conveys it to me. So what's going to motivate me to talk to a stranger if there's nothing for me to pull me towards her?

Not much...it's pretty much a flip of the coin if I end up talking to a stranger...sometimes they're boring and sometimes they're interesting. There's so many women to talk to though that you have to wonder how do you have the time to get to know every single person you meet?

So that's where I'm stuck. You meet all these people, you talk to all these people, *and* you have all these things to do with these people. How do you weed out the ones you really like?

You can't...so you end up being friends with them...in the hopes that you'll have the flexibility to get to know them in a time frame that's manageable.

So now you're stuck with a bunch of friends. It's not so bad, except you can't sleep with any of them....or love them yet...so now you're stuck in that space between being just friends...and becoming lovers....in between.

(My first crush, is one of those friends. Crush-1 isn't number one because she's the hottest...no, she's number one because all the other crushes were weeded out long ago....so she's moved up the ranks....except that no one has topped her yet....a shame really....as this crush has been sitting at number one for around a year now. The result of uncontrollable circumstances.)

So You're Not Gonna Say Hi Anymore?

Unfortunately like Darci says, I've become a drama king.

I thought the Esmeralda thing was over with, like dead. So who shows up at Agenda other than myself? Her of course but not by herself but with the same guy I saw with last time at Miami's.

Now I could understand that women can have guy friends however it's been already established already that this guy has a girlfriend and the guy has a tendancy to be seen making-out with other girls other than his girlfriend.

It's also been established that Jose has told her that Mauricio *has* a girlfriend so all the information is out in the open. So why is she hanging around him when they were at Agenda?

When I mean hanging out I don't mean two friends just hanging out I mean, always standing *right* next to him. They also danced bachata. Oh no.

Now I'm probably over-reacting however her whole behavior that night is just so "duh." She's always asking some the silliest questions like:

Esmeralda: "Oh hi Jose! Are you here with anyone?"
Jose: "What do you think? Jimmy's here."
Esmeralda: "Yeah? I don't see him. Where is he at?"
Jose: "He's probably out dancing."

Simple question yeah? Is she so duh that she didn't see me when she walked into the club? Okay, the club is dark and I *was* standing at 8 feet away. Perhaps she has vision problems then again...I'm probably overreacting.

The other duh thing that happened was Jose was standing behind me, about 10 feet away with my back towards him. She comes up to him and says:

Esmeralda: "So where's Jimmy?"
Jose: "He's standing right there." And points to me.
Esmeralda: "Well call him over so I can say hi to him."

WHAT...you couldn't do that yourself? There wasn't even anyone between you two and me! So Jose steps forward taps me to come over. She smiles and says hi to me, does a quick wave and extends her hand. So I wave back, but I don't shake her hand right away. With a brief hesitation I shook her hand. "So you're not gonna say hi anymore?" she asks. "I just *did* say hi, that's what the wave was for."

Either she's really duh or she's playing it off. Then it came to me like a stick being poked in the mud (meaning, very slow.):

She's probably uncomfortable around me now and the one time she danced with someone other than Jose was with Bachata, with Mauricio. Perhaps to establish something? I can only speculate that it has to do with me, jealously, and/or getting away from the area that I was at.

Jose tells me she contradicts herself. She makes this huge hooplah about how she stays away from guys that are dishonest and are out for a fling, yet she hangs around this guy. Oh, and from what we know so far he has not mentioned once that he has a girlfriend to Esmeralda. Remember that there was the incident between Sandra and I and that it appears that she's walking away from me and my so-called drama, even though there wasn't anything there. Perhaps I *am* a drama king.

To be honest with myself, I'm pretty much done thinking of her. I have two job opportunities to decide on by the end of next week, and I *would* have left this Esmeralda thing all behind except Jose has a tendancy to keep bringing it up (mostly telling me what she said, how she reacted, etc.), and as much as he's a good friend for telling me all it did was have Esmeralda annoy me even more.

So she wants to be just friends with me because of the whole Sandra incident yet she's spending time with Mauricio.

You know, I don't give a squat. All that mattered was that I was dancing hardcore salsa and cha-cha by the pool table with Lorena, everyone was watching us go hog-wild crazy, we looked good, and I was having a good time doing it. This time I learned from my mistake, my whole focus was on my partner and no one else around me. I'm sure she was watching us, thinking whatever some duh person would think. Hah.

Interesting Words from Crush #2

As much as I like to try to cut someone off, a part of me always believes that communication will work things through. I'm such a sap.

So after the hooplah I did with Esmeralda about cutting her off, I decided to send her an email and it went something like this:

Hello Esmeralda, I was planning to not contact you anymore after Friday night however I like you enough where I should at least communicate this out. So what was the deal with Friday night? You saw me there and I thought you were going to come up to me and say hello (guest or not in tow) but you didn't. I wasn't sure if he was your date or just a friend so I didn't want to approach you, but then you don't speak a single word to me the whole night. It troubled me that you would do that to me.
So what's going on? It's easy to turn away at this point especially when we barely know each other but I want to try and risk being burned. If you don't tell me how you're feeling or what you're thinking I can't really learn about you.

Her response:

Hi Jimmy! Glad to hear from you...I'm not sure why you are saying that or why you are saying you didn't plan on talking to me anymore? I wanted to say hi to you Friday night but I never got the opportunity. The first time I saw you was when you were dancing, then when I was dancing with Jose. I thought I kinda said hi from far away when I was dancing (I made a hello gesture). I don't think it's a matter of me not wanting to say hi, it was just that I never got the opportunity. It was a crazy night for me anyways...my plans went all wrong. All my friends were in Mountain View celebrating Mari's birthday and I ended up going to Miami with a few more friends due to us not being able to get into the other place because it was at full capacity.

My response:

Yeah I felt that you were giving me the cold shoulder, because I was
*right* at the door but you breezed passed me without a stop, which is why
I wasn't sure whether you were on a date with the guy you were with or he
was your friend. It would have been nice if you came over to say hi rather
than far away, but I guess that goes back to level or priorities.

Her response:

Jimmy, if I would have seen you when I walked into the place I would have said hello
but I didn't... My mind was elsewhere that day because so many things happened.
But like I said before it felt like I never got the opportunity to say hello. I
didn't realized it was going to bother you...Anyhow, hope we can keep being friends
without hard feelings. I think you are a real cool guy and would like to get to
know you as a friend.


If you had read the earlier blogs then you would know that it was confirmed that she had an interest in me not too long ago so it was quite abrupt to see this answer. It's so BS about what she said, although I could elaborate now but I'm just pretty done here. So, she's back to being blacklisted.

My First Time DJing

Saturday night was one of the most fullfilling nights I've had. For the first time I was a DJ for something other than my own salsa parties at my dance studio. Although I did not use the same equipment as the professional ones, I learned about the challenges of being a DJ and the importance of meeting the needs of the crowd.

Before I can go over what I learned I have to give a background on the whole thing.

I collect music regularly because I play a variety of music at my dance classes, but I also enjoy listening to the music. As my collection grew so did the number of popular songs I have grew. My interest have always been to share the music I have, which is why I DJ the music I play at my dance studio parties. However, DJing for me is as simple as selecting the music to play and letting the computer software do the crossfading. My WinAmp software is customized in a way where the music crossfades automatically without any hiccups, I can organize my songs based on how much I like them, when was the last time I played the song, how often I've played it, etc. I've tested the software at my parties and everyone tells me (when asked) that they figured I premixed everything.

I've had thoughts of being a DJ for quite some time. Sometimes I daydream on how it would be to DJ for a club like Agenda or Miami's for a night (especially Miami's because they play crappy music most of the time) however I've never gotten the chance. My friend Anat was hosting a salsa disco party at her flat in SF and I asked her whether she needed help with the music. She said that she already has her own but I'm welcome to bring whatever I want.

So after connecting my laptop to her sound system I proceeded to DJ from 7:30pm - 1:30am nonstop. By the end of the night:

1. The host received many compliments on the music she played, which she informed them was mine.
2. Out of the 4.5 hours of music played, only one song was repeated twice and that was because the crowd requested the song to be played again.
3. There was only one song where no one was dancing to for the first 10 seconds, at which time I immediately moved on to the next song. It was a bachata song.
4. I was asked to DJ at a couple's wedding, for a salsa-themed wedding reception.
5. I was complimented by a few persons on how much fun I made the party with my music selection.

I was fortunate that "Monito" posted a blog on DJing a few weeks ago. had I not read it I probably would not have paid attention to the dynamics of the crowd at the party. So with all that out of the way this is what I learned:

1. At the wee hours in the night, the crowd prefers to salsa dance to songs that are slower, probably because everyone's tiring out. That includes slow cha cha songs and really slow bachata.

2. There's a difference between reggaeton songs, those with Puerto Rico influence and those from the Dominican Republic. DR reggaeton songs seem to be more preferred because of it's similarity to Bachata.

3. A DJ enjoys what they do because they get to play the songs that *they* like.

4. I had to watch to see how many people are dancing to a song and observes the number of people entering the dance floor towards the end of the song. If there is a high number, I continued to play the same type of music instead of switching it to something else.

5. Any good DJ will honor the request, to their best, any songs that a person asks.

6. It's best to play a variety of music at a house party, even if it's for a bunch of salsa dancers. If salsa dancers really wanted to salsa dance the whole night, they would've gone to a club instead. Everyone raved on the music played which were salsa, merengue, bachata, cha-cha, persian, reggaeton, disco, samba, trance, and Fulanito (some of Fulanito's music is more like hip-hop. People went crazy over these songs).

7. As long as the song sounds really good, salsa dancers like a little variety from the mainstream salsa songs played at a club. The refreshing songs make for a better experience.

8. The crossfading from my laptop was beneficial in keeping the whole night upbeat. Without it, I think the whole night would've lost it's momentum.

So what a fun night! I can't say that I'm as good as the likes of the professional DJs but for my first informal Djing it came out to be pretty good!

My Problem With Crush #2

In regards to Esmeralda, I've deleted her phone number from my phone, deleted her from my PDA, and I've blacklisted her email from my email account. I just had enough of this after Friday night.

Ever since the incident at Carribean Gardens with Sandra, things were never the same with Esmeralda and I. Trust issues I would imagine, she received three different accounts of what happened that night: Sandra's, Jose's, and mine. It's no wonder why she wants to walk away also.

I've done my best to continue showing my interest in her, we spoke twice on the phone after that Wednesday and exchanged a few emails since then. My emails consisted of me asking her what she had lined up for the weekend, if she had time then to hang out, etc.

There was never any follow-up to any of those hints. No "okay, I'll see" just no responses. Learning from my failed relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I quickly rememeberd that when a woman says nothing, it still counts as saying something.

In either case I spoke to her through email on Friday afternoon, asking her what she had lined up for the weekend. It's her best friend's birthday weekend so she'll be spending time with her. As for tonight, she's going to the SJ Improv.

Everything in my gut told me that she would be going dancing afterwards. The show goes from 8:30 - about 10 or so, too early for someone to head straight hom. I figured that she'd show up at Miami's with her best friend, that didn't happen exactly.

In a wild fluke, I was standing by the entrance to Miami Beach after some hardcore dancing. With two quick glances I see Esmeralda's at the entrance, but with a guy! I smiled and mouthed a Hello to her, to which she did the same. Now you'd think she'd at least come by and say hello, no, she walked in the opposite direction towards the back of the club.

Now I could've approached her later in the night but the thing is I didn't know if this was a friend or a date, so I kind of left it as it is. Not much was going through my mind other than I don't have the full story to make a conclusion; however my statement to myself was that I *knew* she was going to show up.

After she disappeared I found the girl I was dancing cumbia and Merengue with earlier and asked her to salsa dance with me, on the stage. The silly part about the dancing scene is that (which is so stupid) is that if you really like a girl you're supposed to ignore her and dance with someone else to incite jealously.

I know, it's so childish and stupid but it's true. My opinion is if you really like someone then you show them you like them. Unfortunately, for a lot of people if you do that too early on you come off as a psycho...which is why it annoys me that guys that treat women bad get the girls and nice guys have trouble.

So after we danced I realize that the girl is attracted to me, noticing that she held my hand from the stage all the way to her table. As most girls have done, I was complimented consistently on my dancing skills.

I've yet to see Esmeralda in fact, I had no idea where she was at. Maybe outside? Okay let's incite some jealously. I ask the girl to go dance with me outside. She said yes, holds my hand and leads me to the back of the club as I follow her.

Hm, no Esmeralda. No matter, so we dance and dance and we're done and she takes my hand and walks me back to her table.

So I leave her and walk around trying to find out where my friends were and wondering where Esmeralda was at. At some point I finally spot her with the corner of my eye at the second bar towards the dark corner of the bar with 3 other people, looking at my direction. I play it off that I haven't spotted her yet.

She had a perfect vantage point to see who leaves or enters the back area. "Did she see the girl holding my hand and leading me to the back to dance earlier?" I wondered.

I meet up with Jose and tell him that Esmeralda's here with a guy. "Where?" he asks. So he makes his way over there while I stay at the back dance area.

Recounting on what Jose said, he stood nearby her, she got his attention by his arm, he asked if she had talked to me, she said yes, he says "And?", and she says "let's dance." At that point they're both dancing in the back area where I'm at. At some point of walking around I acknowledge her existence by pinching her arm as she's dancing with Jose. "Okay see, I'm not ignoring you" I hoped that it would establish.

Well apparently they don't talk a whole lot although Jose tells me that the guy was trying to put his arms around her and all and that....he has a girlfriend. "Do you know that Mauricio has a girlfriend?" Jose tells her. With a surprised look, she tells him no. Ah hah!

Well so they're still dancing so I find the girl I was dancing with and ask her (and i'm so rude, she was talkng to some guy and I motioned her to come with me. Which she did) to come out and dance with me in the back. SO we do, and while we're dancing there was a few times where Esmeralda looked at me, that I noticed. There was one moment where we both looked at each other while dancing.

It wasn't a good moment, she had a distraught look on her face. Was she upset that Mauricio has a girlfriend, that I was dancing with another girl? Or what?

What crossed my mind was.....she knows that Miami Beach is my regular hangout and the odds of seeing me there are very high....so why didn't she call me to see if I was already there or if we can meet up? It was obvious to me that she still had trust issues with me and probably figured she would catch me with another girl.....or that she's lost interest me and didn't care anymore.

After that look and a few 10ths of seconds later, Esmeralda stops dancing with Jose and flies off back to her group. "What was all that about?" Jose's facial expression showed as I continued to dance with my partner. It was very abrupt I had observed.

So for the rest of the night I avoided looking at their location although I had caught her a couple of times looking at me...as I was sitting at the other end of the same bar......talking to the security at the door by the back room...or when I was walking from one area to another.

I was a bit hurt yes, i've been leading her to try to do something with her with no responses thinking that she was still interested, and to see her show up in the club I frequent without a hello when she sees me also hurt. As a person that tries to work out problems through communication I had to protect myself from any more hurt by cutting her off.

Not all is lost, if she were to call me then of course we can go from there. As for emails, it's set up in a way where emails from her get the automatic response that I will not be answering any emails and that if it's urgent then to call me at the following numbers.

Frankly after this and the incident with Jules I'm pretty much tired of women for the moment.

My First Time at Studio 8

I checked out Studio 8 for the first time on a Thursday night. Here's a list of the things I observed or found out:

1) There were a lot of asians. ALOT. I'm asian myself but I felt somewhat out of place. Then again, I still feel out of place hanging out with my Mexican friends.

2) I can still get in for free at a Hip hop club, and I wasn't even on the guest list!

3) Hip hop clubs are like the jungle. Guys go on the prowl and would look at a girl like a lion looks at a gazelle, ready for the pounce!

4) Unlike salsa clubs, if you want to dance with a girl you just go up to her...when she's already dancing with her friends!

5) A brass pole is meant to go all the way up to the ceiling for full support, brass poles wobble if they're only 8 feet tall and a girl swings on it.

6) Asian girls typically don't stand out to me, unless they have bigger than typical asian boobs with yellow highlights in their hair.

7) A girl violated me. She came up from behind me and pushed my shirt up, exposing my nipples. Fortunately I was fast enough to cover my chi-chis with my hands. Unfortunately, that left me unprotected from the waist down...as the girl took the opportunity to look down my pants.

8) Guys are intimidated by guys that can dance and will stay away from you, for fear that your crazy dancing will attract people enough where they'll be watching them instead.

9) My limit is one tequila shot per night, but anything else before that shot doesn't get me drunk.

10) I can dance my ass off by myself with no problems, until a girl comes up to me and starts rubbing against me. Then I get confused on what I can do.

11) Attractive girls like it when guys are drooling over them, however they'll push them away if the guy gets too close to them. So why were you flirting with them?

12) Guys will take every opportunity to touch a girl all over the place if the girl doesn't stop them.

13) Petite asian girls can't hold their liquor!

14) If you throw up in the club, security will automatically kick you out!

15) If you turn your butt to a girl, that's an open invitation for her to rub up against you.

16) There was one fight that broke out! A guy punched a girl!

17) Your friends consider you a good friend when you accept how they are when they're drunk.

18) Your drunk friends consider you a good friend because you don't like to drink!

19) There were two mad orgies with guys and girls in a pile, with all their clothes still on.

20) If you take away the asian faces and put Mexican faces on them, you'll find out that asians and Mexicans dress alike!

That Time With A Stripper

Have you been up close to a stripper before? They have this clean smell to them and they never seem to be sweating.

Some time back when, I was in Vegas for a bachelor's party for one of my good friends. Like most bachelor parties in Vegas there's gambling and of course strip clubs.

I went to Vegas with a budget, I brought enough cash to last me through the weekend and I made sure I didn't spend anymore more than that...especially at a strip club. However things didn't turn out that way.

Prior to going to one of the clubs (it's been so long I forgot which one it was) I ended up owing one of the guys money for a drink...probably because he gave me money to give one of the dancers at a night before.

So we end up at this one club before the groom and the gang. There was three of us and we were immediately greeted by three dancers. I somehow got the tall blonde one (no complaints) and the girls invited us to the VIP room. "Don't worry Jimmy I got you" replied friend A (whom I owe money to) and off we went to the VIP room.

Since I owe money for drinks I had to pay up and since I didn't have any cash on me I had to use my credit card. Thing is I didn't buy just drinks for each of us, I also had to buy drinks for each of the girls! That's 6 drinks damnit.

While the two guys were busy getting their laps bootie massaged, I spent my time talking to my stripper instead. At 35 and 5'8", Lisa was originally from Jersey on a farm where she later moved to Hawaii with her family. Eventually she ended up in Vegas. "Did you ever have sex in the hay?" I asked. "No, but if you've ever been in hay it's really itchy" she replied. So note to self, don't ever have sex on hay.

We pretty much hit it off talking about various topics like salsa dancing, life and such. "The next time you're in Vegas you have to teach me salsa dancing" she said once.

During my lengthy conversation with Lisa in the very dark VIP room I finally noticed something that I should have paid attention to earlier....the guys were gone! "What the frick? What tims is it and how come I don't have a watch on me?" I wondered to myself. I had no idea what time it was (so convenient that there's no clocks in a strip club) and I had no idea how long I've been with this woman. Something came to mind:

If *they're* gone, who's paying for the bill?

Fortunately the guys paid for their lap dances but I still owe for the drinks. So what do I do at this point? I continue talking to Lisa.

"Are you sure you want to stay here? It doesn't matter if we stay or leave because you're paying for the time you're spending with me. We can always talk outside" said lisa. Well at least she's honest about it. "no, let's talk for a little bit longer."

After some more talking the groom finally appeared in front of me and said "Hey are you doing okay? You've been gone a long time and I don't want you to be ripped off. So you better get going." Okay, time to go.

Well apparently I didn't realize that I was in there for almost 2 hours. After being led to the woman that takes your money, I was told I owe roughly $630.

I started to sweat. How the heck the whole thing come up to be that much? The drinks came out to be almost $100, there was some percentage fee for using a credit card, and it was like 150-200 per hour or something I don't recall.

I instantly started thinking about how to get out of this situation. No, can't run because cameras are all over, okay well I'm out of ideas.

They must have a lot of runners because not only did they do an imprint of my credit card, they photocopied my picture ID and took a thumb print. "Well sh*t, there's no way I can get out of this one for sure!"

So the damage was done and when I returned home to San Jose I had a bill for a strip club that was rounding the corner. However in the end, I ended up paying nothing for my trip in Vegas.

An interesting thing happened weeks after I came back. I got a call from the credit card company telling me that there's been a lot of suspicious activity on my credit card and wanted to verify some transactions with me. After naming a few restaurants I ate in Vegas including the bill for the strip club "What? I know nothing of these transactions" I replied.

"So you're telling me you didn't do any of these transactions? What about this one for XXX from Expedia for a flight to Tennesee?" asked the guy on the other end.

The fortunate thing for me was I didn't use this credit card very often. The only purchase other than the ones in Vegas was for a flight ticket out to Tennessee about 2 months earlier. So my defense was that the last time I saw my credit card was when I was in Tennessee...and I haven't used my credit card since because the card is over at my parent's house..."or at least that's where I think it is" I told him.

So the asumption i'm putting off is that I lost my credit card in Tennessee and someone stole it and used it in Vegas.

Yeah I know, unbelievable. So unbelievable that the guy said he's going to send me a letter in the mail contesting the charges and that I'll still owe the money pending the investigation. Damn.

Months later, I never received the letter nor was I ever held responsible for the amount. I received a credit for all of the transactions I did in Vegas (In total about $900) and I never heard anything from the credit card company since.

Was it luck? Somewhat. During the time when I owed the money the company probably swept it under the rug due to the transfer of account holdings.

The credit card I used was an Amazon card (not the card I used) which is hosted by a company, say BofA. Since BofA doesn't want to handle the card anymore, they would turn the accounts over to another credit card company, say Citibank.

So that's my dark secret. I think it's a bit of karma since I spent my time talking rather than a getting physical pleasure out of it!